Protecting Your Transgender Child - Build A Safe Folder

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Folder of papers

Every family of a transgender or non-binary child needs a safe folder. The documents can help you see how your child’s life is progressing and help you explain it to others. Part of the folder will be letters and paperwork. Another part will be photos and, schoolwork, awards or other memorabilia that will show how your child has developed.

Do the paperwork NOW

Don’t put this off. Having all of this assembled makes it easier to talk to doctors, counselors, school administrators and teachers. It’s vital to help protect you if challenged by the legal system such as the Department of Family and Protective Services.

Keep at least two complete copies of the folder. One copy stays with you so you can access it quickly. This could be vital if a Child Protective Services investigator knocks on your door.

Give a copy to a family member, friend or other trusted person. This will keep it safe if something happens to your home. Update the folder regularly.

Folder contents

  • Include personal identification. A certified copy of the child’s birth certificate and a copy of your birth certificate should be included. Add other identification such as a copy of a driver's license, Social Security card, and passport. If there has been a name change, add those documents as well. These documents can quickly establish you have a right to speak for the child.

  • Include a letter from your pediatrician or general practitioner confirming the child’s gender identity.

  • A letter from your child’s therapist or counselor confirming the gender identity should be added to the folder. Ask that the letter speaks to the stability of your family.

  • Letters from other healthcare professionals confirming the child’s gender identity.

  • Collect letters from at least three family members, friends or others who know you and your child. They should include how and how long they have known you, and current contact information.

  • Ask those who write the letters to add specific examples of atypical gender behavior. Examples of your parenting skills also should be added.

  • Use drawings or writing your child may have done to show gender identity.

  • Keep photos of the child as they develop.

  • If you have copies of background checks or home studies, include those.